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go figure...   
04:06pm 20/04/2006
  151.5

lost half a pound.

not too shabby, all things considered.

gotta stay on the track.		  
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shite.   
08:58am 17/04/2006
  so basically...

the past four days...out of control. easter etc.

i have no idea what the damage is yet...it probably won't show up for another couple days.

the rest of this week = MAJOR DAMAGE CONTROL.

water water water.

STRICT CORE.

success is so close i can taste it.

i cannot slip.		  
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ummm...hell yes.   
08:55am 10/04/2006
  152

l52

152 this morning.

i don't know how, especially considering i really didn't follow core at all for like 4 days.

i did work out though.

but still.

i don't know.


now i really have to work hard so that i don't gain...sometimes mistakes don't show up until LATER.		  
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excellent   
01:05pm 05/04/2006
  ok, so my weight yesterday afternoon was 154.5 lbs.

still not the best, but a loss anyway.

and that's considering my cheats on friday AND saturday.

and i majorly cheated last night too...


i don't want it to catch up to me.

this week i'm going to really stick to core and COUNT POINTS for non-core foods.

i would LOVE to see 153 next week...or lower!

i haven't seen lower than 153 since early november.

so...goals...

4/12-- 153
4/19-- 151.5
4/26-- might not be able to weigh this week...going to oregon for business
5/3-- 149!!!!! would be so amazing...		  
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new goal   
08:27am 25/03/2006
  alright.

so at the iguana, there are these ADORABLE jeans. adorable. and they cost major bucks. and i kind of want to buy them NOW. but i know i won't be able to wear them now. why? because i am a fatass. BUT when i reach 145, not only will i get the eyeshadow like i already promised myself...but i will also buy myself that sweet pair of jeans.

AND...when i reach 140...ANOTHER (different) pair of jeans!

swEET!

yay motivation.		  
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core   
09:33am 24/03/2006
  ok, so i switched to core on wednesday. in a word: DUH. this is going to be so much easier for me to follow. it already is. i mean, i know this is what everyone says, but it's SO TRUE: i actually LIKE eating fruits and fat free dairy and all that healthy stuff...but when i had to count points, i wouldn't eat them as much because i didn't want to "waste" points. now i just eat things that are good for me and don't stress.

i should have done this way sooner.		  
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ok.   
11:58am 28/02/2006
  so i weighed today.

154.5

ok, back on track. back. on. track.

new goals/rewards:

149 lbs = urban decay eye pencil

145 lbs = urban decay eyeshadow

i was pretty good this weekend. 5.5 lbs until i reach that first goal.

just gotta keep it up. must sustain effort.		  
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biting the bullet.   
09:09am 24/02/2006
  so this morning i "officially" weighed myself and logged my weight for the first time in about 3 weeks.

158 lbs.

oh. my. god.
a 4.5 pound gain.

oh, of course i know WHY. i totally haven't been staying OP...haven't been counting points all the time, been bingeing like crazy.

this is obviously unacceptable.
so now...i know i always say this...
but now it's time to really get my shit together.

i need some kind of real inspiration here, not just to get me motivated, but to KEEP me motivated.

i've got to STICK to this and not cheat. i always rationalize cheating by saying, "just this one time won't matter."

but all the fat-ass fat says it does.		  
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so...hungry...   
10:30am 17/02/2006
  ok, i'm starving right now.

so far i've had:

B: light fat-free yogurt (2 points)

tea/water (0 points)

my lunch is a healthy choice meal, but i don't want to eat that quite yet...

i think patrick is going to make me a chicken thigh for dinner....mmm.		  
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drinking tea   
10:32am 16/02/2006
  tea and water.

staying strong.

no junk.		  
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ok, fuck.   
08:44am 16/02/2006
  so the good news is that i'm not pregnant.

the bad news is that i was so stressed about it this past week that i ate all sorts of crap, b/p'ed like a billion times, and couldn't focus when i worked out.

that said, i'm so scared that i gained this week...
i didn't officially record last week, but i was 154 on thursday afternoon. GROSS.

anyway, i didn't count points at all this week. but today i am starting fresh.

i am NOT a loser, so i will succed at this.
the only thing i will lose is all this gross, disgusting fat.

should i weigh today?

maybe i will...tonight, after i work out.

we shall see...otherwise, tomorrow.		  
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back on track and rewards   
03:00pm 08/02/2006
  ok.

so today i'm back on track.
so far, this is what i've had:

B: yogurt (2 points)
apple (1 point)

L: 4 oz. chicken breast (2.5 points)
romaine lettuce (0 points)
beets (0 points)
green beans (0 points)
orange (1 point)

now i'm drinking cinnamon tea with nothing in it.

i have also already gone to the gym... 20 minutes on the elliptical and 40 minutes on the stairmaster.
i can do this. i will do this.

now...these are the rewards i've thought up for myself as i reach my goals:

148 lbs: a new book or cd

145 lbs: a new sexy top or shirt

140 lbs: a new pair of pants or skirt AND a new pair of shoes


i can do this.
i just have to keep focused.		  
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fuckshit. worthless.   
07:51pm 07/02/2006
  ok, so i completely fucked shit up today. and i didn't even work out.
this is what i ate:

1 cottled egg w/cheese
salad w/feta and oil/vinegar
2 small biscuits w/butter
beans/carrots
a LOT of cookie dough and several cookies
3 pieces of toast/butter
(PURGED)
2 cookies
1 apple
4 pieces of toast with melted cheese (WTF???)
3 biscuits w/butter
5 cookies
1 cup of ice cream
a bunch of gummy candies
stew w/beef and veggies
(PURGED)

ok this is totally ridiculous. i know i'm doing this because i'm so nervous because i'm afraid i might be pregnant.

i don't really have THAT much reason to be concerned...i haven't even missed a period, and it isn't even due until saturday...

but i'm still kind of scared. because a couple times we had unprotected sex for a little while before he put the condom on. although, he certainly never ejaculated inside me without a condom.

i don't know, i am still scared.


fuck.

i HAVE to go back to weight watchers STRICTLY tomorrow.
i did a really good job for like 5 whole days.
lets get back on track.		  
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last night   
12:49pm 06/02/2006
  so i practically starved myself all day yesterday to save points for the superbowl party and the drinks at the horse afterwards...

but what i ultimately decided to do was limit myself a lot at the party and then just count the whole night as 25 points to be safe.

however, for some reason i found it necessary to scarf down a whole bunch of potato chips (which i don't even really LIKE!) with onion dip. jesus. i actually purged last night for the first time since...last tuesday? i feel kind of ashamed about it, and today i feel fat. i guess it serves me right.

anyway, today is a new day. back on track with the points. so far i've eaten a fat free light yogurt (2 points), and i am about to go to the gym.

i WILL do this. when i get on the scale thursday, i will have lost weight.		  
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first post.   
04:50pm 05/02/2006
  so here are my current stats:

Age: 23
Height: 5'3"
Highest Weight: 162.5lbs
Lowest Weight: 120lbs
Current Weight: 153.5 (as of thursday, february 2)
Short Term Goal: 148lbs by feb. 23
2nd Short Term Goal: 145lbs by march 9
Long Term Goal: 140lbs by April 1		  
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drink_my_wine
 
 

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